Reframing the message

Reframing is expressing a thought, idea, or proposal differently. In conflict resolution, reframing typically refers to reframing the problem to make it more solvable, or to reframing the message to make it more understandable, neutralize it (make it less explosive), or better convey the core point. Here are examples of message reframes:

Reframe: "Don't talk to me like that!" --> "I can't hear what you're saying when you raise your voice." #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You made me lose track of what I was saying" --> "When we argue like this I can't think straight" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You owe me an apology" --> I'd like to discuss the impact your words had on me" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "Why can't you ever take responsibility?" --> "I see ways we each contributed to this" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "There's just no talking to him" --> "I don't know how to approach him" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "That was so selfish" --> "I'm hurt you didn't take me into account when you made that decision" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "What a pigsty" --> "It would help me a lot if you'd keep your room tidier" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "That's not what you said" --> "I remember it differently" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You need to calm down" --> "Help me understand what you're trying to say" #DisagreeBetter

"You never listen!" --> "I want what I say to matter to you" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "I'm sick of the constant criticism" --> "It's painful to feel corrected to frequently" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "There's just no reasoning with you" --> "Let's figure out when we can have a thoughtful conversation about this." #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You're being such a jerk today" --> "Are you ok? You seem off your game today" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "It's disrespectful to interrupt" --> Please allow me to finish my thought" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You need to stand up for yourself" --> "Your voice and opinion matter to this team" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You're exaggerating, as usual" --> "I'm struck by how differently we each experienced what happened" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You're not making any sense" --> "I don't understand" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "He's so passive aggressive" --> "I'm baffled why he agrees to things and then doesn't do them" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "You're about as selfish as they come." --> "It's important to me that you take my needs into account too." #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "Can you just skip all the drama for a change?" --> "I can see how much this matters to you" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "Take a breath" --> "I can't absorb that much information at once and I don't want to miss something important" #DisagreeBetter

Reframe: "Don't be so obstructionist" --> "Tell me a bit about why those ideas don't work for you" #DisagreeBetter