Better agreement starts with disagreeing better. I help individuals, pairs, and groups approach friction and discord in ways that fuel effective teamwork and buffer vital relationships.
Fine-tune communication
Word choice, good questions, and good listening skills and habits contribute to effective communication. We disagree better when we fine-tune communication habits, aligning our words and our listening with the kinds of intentions and attitudes that pave the way for progress.
Cultivate emotional agility
The best conflict resolution and communication skills in the world are of little use if we can’t access them when we need them most. We disagree better when we can think clearly, respond nimbly, and maintain our equilibrium in the face of difficult and stressful interactions.
Examine mental models
Mental models are the explanations and pictures we naturally construct in our heads to make sense of the world. This “invisible architecture” of the mind shapes our behavior, influences our perceptions, and affects how we solve problems. We disagree better when we can detect our blind spots, examine our assumptions, and interpret our experience through multiple lenses.
Use good process
Good problem-solving process is like a reliable roadmap — it orients us to where we are, helps us identify an effective route to our desired destination, and helps us find an alternate route around obstructions. We disagree better when we have a coherent process for organizing information and navigating difficult conversations.
Safeguard the space between
The “space between” is the figurative space between us. Conflict and friction can damage the space between, but there are things we can do to buffer our vital relationships from the negative effects of conflict. We disagree better when we negotiate in ways that safeguard the space between.
Ready to disagree better?
I publish a monthly newsletter about conflict resolution and the five habits. For 20+ years I’ve shared it with thousands of subscribers all over the world.