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Tammy Lenski

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Safeguarding the space between

The dog on the elevator

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When you have a problem with another person, where does that problem live? Does it live in them because they’re difficult? Or does it live in the space between?

In one of my recent corporate trainings, several people in the room were skeptical that the problem lives in “the space between,” invested in the idea that the people who vexed them are simply “difficult people.”

Michael raised his hand and told this story:

A man gets on the elevator with his dog. At the next floor, a second man gets on the elevator, scowls, and says angrily, “Why is that dog on this elevator?” The dog growls at the man.

On another floor, a third man gets on the elevator. He smiles at the dog and says, “You are such a cute fellow!” The dog wags his tail happily at the man.

So where does the problem lie?

Thank you, Michael, for a story that will remain in my repertoire forever — simply and eloquently making the point.

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