• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Tammy Lenski

Disagree better | Tammy Lenski

  • Hello
  • Articles
  • Podcast
  • Books
  • Programs
  • Contact
  • Login

Examining mental models

Behavior change and the holes in your sidewalk

TweetLinkedInFacebookPinEmail

Autobiography in Five Chapters
by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Source: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche (affiliate link)

TweetLinkedInFacebookPinEmail

Thanks for reading

You can get more ways to navigate difficult conversations with agility and skill in my monthly conflict resolution newsletter, free for over 20 years. Join thousands of loyal, long-term subscribers worldwide:

The Disagree Better Newsletter from Dr. Tammy Lenski

Footer

 

Unleash the power of 100+ conflict resolution tools, techniques, and insights at your fingertips

Laptop computer showing the Conflict Resolution Toolbox page

©2002-2023 TAMMY LENSKI • SITE POLICIES

  • Safeguarding the space between
  • Fine-tuning communication
  • Cultivating emotional agility
  • Examining mental models
  • Using good process
Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!