A writer for Coca-Cola asked me for some stress-free holiday tips. Here’s one of my tips and a link to the rest of the article:
Avoid Conflict Hooks
Criticism is hard to swallow because we experience is as an attack on our character. Unfortunately, family gatherings can be a breeding ground for conflict because there are so many ways other people can trigger our “conflict hooks,” which pull them into battle like a barbed-wire fence snagging a sweater, Lenski says.
“We see ourselves as competent, likable, dependable, having good character, and capable of standing on our own two feet,” she explains. But when someone suggests we aren’t, we can get ‘hooked’ by conflict.
But not every slight to our character is intentional — or even necessarily real, she says. “If we have a difficult history with someone, we’re more likely to interpret their comment as a deliberate insult, when the same comment from someone else might not even register on our internal Richter scales,” she says.
Enlist a family member who loves both of you to help put a perceived slight in perspective, Lenski recommends.
Read the rest of my tips: ‘Tis the Season to be Frazzled: 4 Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday