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Tammy Lenski

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Stepping up to difficult conversations: Fear is normal

24 July 2006 by Tammy Lenski

Part 2 of 4

I asked my grad students what their greatest fears were before having the difficult conversations they’d chosen. They named the kinds of fears you and I would probably name, too:

  • I feared it wasn’t the "right" time to have the conversation.
  • I feared I’d be found out for who I really am.
  • I was afraid I might resort to some of my more rageful ways.
  • I worried that it would backfire and make things worse.
  • I was afraid the other person would get angry at me.
  • I feared retribution or other consequences at work.
  • I was afraid I wouldn’t handle myself well.
  • I was afraid I wouldn’t have the strength to see it through.

Then I asked them what their greatest hopes were. I’ll write about their answers next.

So inspired by these students.

The 4-part series

  1. Stepping up to difficult conversations: What my grad students taught me
  2. Stepping up to difficult conversations: Fear is normal (above)
  3. Stepping up to difficult conversations: Know your strongest hopes
  4. Stepping up to difficult conversations: What my grad students would tell you

Filed Under: Conflict resolution skills and strategies

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