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Using good process

Confronting conflict: Raise an issue or let it go?

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A participant in one of my conflict resolution workshops participants asked, “How do you know when it’s worth raising an issue and when it would be better to let it go?” Here are some guiding questions to help answer this question.

  • Is there real risk of the issue becoming the snake under the rug?
  • Can you really let it go? Or will you pretend to let it go, then let it eat at you and seep out in your interactions?
  • What are the real costs of letting it go?
  • Think about looking back at your life when you’re 100. Will this be one that mattered?
  • Are others counting on you or is there a real impact on others if you don’t confront the problem?
  • Are you a “take ’em all on” type? If so, is your typical pattern misleading you in this situation?
  • Are you a “avoid it if I can” type? If so, is your typical pattern misleading you in this situation?
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