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Refrain from using the terms “always” and “never” when you’re in a disagreement with someone. Making statements like, “You never listen to me” invites defensiveness because of the obvious hyperbole. Truly never ever? The real conversation gets side-tracked as the other person understandably defends against the all or nothing complaint.

Phrases like this are called “totalizing language” and are strong hints the conflict is beginning to hijack you.