• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Tammy Lenski

Conflict resolution for business, team, and personal relationships

  • Hello
  • Books
  • Courses
  • Archives
  • Subscribe
  • Contact

Conflict coaching for Marion, part 5

12 March 2007 by Tammy Lenski

I had asked Marion for a note she’d be willing to let me share with all of you. This is what she wrote about the conflict coaching experience so far…I’m humbled by her words and impressed by her attitude and spunk:

What I have found most helpful about the coaching I have had so far is the opportunity to do some brainstorming around the specific problem being tackled. For example, discussing a vexing problem with a client, and being reaffirmed that the behavior being exhibited by the client is detrimental to me. Helping me to find the words to say to talk to the client so that I can regain my footing and an even give and take. Instead of being taken advantage of over and over.

The coaching helped me to deal with a problem that had been going on for years, one that I wasn’t happy about. But I didn’t think I could do anything to resolve it. Working with Tammy gave me the tools and confidence to address the situation and make it better. I feel less like a door mat now!

Going forward I look forward to becoming more aware of situations with clients that can be addressed before they get out of hand. I have a tendency to not really see the problems as problems. Being more aware, and less accommodating of bad behavior can only make me a better businesswoman. I still need help finding the words to say, though I am sure the more I do it the better at I will get.

I look forward to my continued work with Tammy to get better at this!

Marion was kind enough to drop me another note a few weeks ago, updating me as we anticipate stepping back into the conflict management coaching relationship again this month. She’s not been slacking off! During the coaching hiatus, Marion used her seasonal slow time to continue experimenting with strategies for regaining her balance, practice in low-stakes moments so she’s able to respond more naturally in higher-stakes ones, and through these efforts, build her confidence. I had also suggested three books she might find relevant and informative reads.

Through her reading, reflecting, and willingness to watch herself during difficult situations, Marion has concluded that one of her biggest stumbling blocks is saying “no” when she’s uncomfortable with the direction a situation seems to be heading. In the past, she’s gotten frustrated with herself for not speaking up, then harbored resentment that later spills over into the relationship. She told me she’s realized that she needs to be able to say, “I’m not really comfortable” with what’s happening and invite the other person into further conversation instead of walking away or cutting things off.

She also shared a story about how she’s taken this revelation to heart and used it to step back into a conversation that didn’t go as she wanted, and to nip other potential problems in the bud. She concluded with, “I am feeling more in control, more powerful and less taken advantage of!”

Marion, if you’re reading this, my hat is off to you! You’ve done what many talk about but fewer make the effort to do: You’ve taken action to change the way you engage difficult situations and followed through with real commitment. I’m so grateful that you’ve been willing to let me blog about your efforts, because you’ve shown what’s really possible when we decide to make changes in our lives.

Thanks, Marion, for all you’ve done.

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Conflict resolution skills and strategies

Footer

Disagree better

Get The Disagree Better Guide + free road-tested conflict resolution tools delivered to your inbox monthly

Uncopyright   ·   Site policies   ·   Search

Forgive the intrusion...
We use cookies to improve your browsing experience.
We like to eat them, too. Read the policy here.
I ACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Click to see the next question. Questions load randomly. Some have links for a deeper dive.

It's real but is it true?
Am I being seen? Am I seeing?
How has this affected me?
What's holding my attention?
Who do I want to be?
What else could this be?
What is the wish behind the criticism?
What is the problem WE are trying to solve here?
Why am I this angry?
A week from now, will this have mattered?
What's the most important thing?
What would love do now?
What is the next right thing?

QueryCards ©2021 Myiaccord LLC. All rights reserved.

image of the email series

7 ways to disagree better today

Seven proven practices you can use immediately. One a day for a week + monthly road-tested conflict resolution tools delivered to your inbox. No spam, unsubscribe anytime.

This companion download for the book is free — along with a free subscription to my monthly conflict resolution tools — when you register. Register just once to get full access to all downloads in my Resource Library:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.