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Tammy Lenski

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Using good process

sketch of gps map

Good problem-solving process is like a reliable roadmap — it orients us to where we are, helps us identify an effective route to our desired destination, and helps us find an alternate route around obstructions. We disagree better when we have a coherent process for organizing information and navigating difficult conversations.

Using good process

Before you start solving a problem, be sure you do this

Slow down and practice inside-out problem-solving.

Using good process

Keeping yourself (and others) out of conflict corners

It’s tempting to feel triumphant when we successfully back our nemesis into a figurative corner. But it’s ill-advised triumph. Here are ways to address and prevent cornering in your own and others’ conflicts.

[…Read on…]

Using good process

Are you letting this common habit get in the way of effective mediating?

It feels natural to take notes while mediating or coaching, and coaching and mediation notes serve a purpose. While jotting down something really important is useful, taking notes throughout the session is often a mistake. Here’s how note-taking can be a bad habit and a barrier to effective mediating and coaching. In a recent conflict […]

Using good process

6 contradictory ways to spark creative problem solving

If you’re trying to solve a tough problem, is it better to push on through or take a brain break? Is it better to be out in nature or will the sidewalk do? Is it better to build on an offered idea or disagree and criticize it? Yes. When I’m teaching mediators, I like to […]

Using good process

The 9-dot puzzle (redux)

The 9-dot puzzle has been around for a while now, so maybe you’ve seen it. It’s a permanent resident of my conflict resolution activities toolbox. Here’s what it is and how I use it in conflict resolution to help clients problem-solve more creatively (as well as a Part 2 of the exercise that may be […]

Using good process

A liberating new approach to making hard choices

One of the hardest tasks I face as a mediator and coach is helping people make big, difficult choices for themselves. Here’s how I use a refreshing and liberating new framework to help my clients decide between options when there is no clear frontrunner.

[…Read on…]

Using good process

Walk it out to work it out

If you want to boost creative problem-solving or get a fresh perspective, then get up from your conference room table and climb out of those comfy living room chairs. Walking is better. Years ago, I took two mediation clients on a long walk through city streets when they were very stuck and frustrated in the […]

Using good process

How to be a problem-solving superhero without fixing it yourself

It can feel very gratifying to sort out a sticky problems for other people. But the fixer habit can backfire, leaving you burned out and them not used to handling problems themselves. Years ago, a student came to my office with a problem. I was a dean at the time and I had many appointments […]

Using good process

Leaving room for the door to open

Next time you’re putting pressure on someone in a disagreement, step back and do what this political canvasser did when he knocked on our door recently.

Using good process

The uncommon art of masterful problem framing

Uncommon but also learnable.

Using good process

I’m getting blamed for everything

A lesson from theatrical improv can teach us a powerful way to respond effectively to blame. “I’m getting blamed for everything,” she said. “Every time I talk to my husband about our problems, he blames me.” She wanted to know, understandably, how to stop the cycle and the blameshifting. Mediators ask me how to manage […]

Using good process

Starting conflict resolution: Big or small issues first?

Is it better to start with the biggest issues, then work out the ancillary or other smaller issues? Or will you be better off sorting out a bunch of smaller issues before taking on the big one? Here’s how to decide.

Using good process

How conflict resolution is like oak trees, saplings, and acorns

When a conflict has been going on for a while, other ancillary conflicts tend to sprout around it. And sometimes those ancillary conflicts will linger even once the central conflict is resolved. It is the nature of conflict and here’s what to do about it.

Ed Catmull, President of Pixar and Disney Animation, puts it this way: “There is the problem you know you are trying to solve–think of that as an oak tree–and then there are all the other problems–think of these as saplings–that sprouted from the acorns that fell around it. And these problems remain after you cut the oak tree down.”

And he tells a great story to illustrate his point…

[…Read on…]

Using good process

Great conflict resolution starts with great problem finding

The usual question when faced with a conflict is, “How can we resolve it?” But what if there’s a better question to ask — and one that might even help us be more creative with our solutions? A group of students at the Art Institute of Chicago approached two large tables holding 27 random objects. […]

Using good process

So, you’re looking for workplace conflict resolution training?

letter to workplace conflict resolution training clients

This is a letter intended for anyone who may wish to hire me for conflict resolution training in their organization.

Friend,

When an organization approaches me for conflict resolution training or negotiation training, I find that there are certain conversation threads that come up again and again. So, I thought I would mention them here, in anticipation of a future time when we may speak about your organization’s conflict resolution and training needs. I hope they’re helpful to your thinking about what you need from a trainer and to your assessment of my fit for the assistance you seek.

[…Read on…]

Using good process

Helping a friend in conflict

When friends, loved ones, and colleagues tell us about a conflict they’re experiencing, how we respond helps shape their conflict story. And what they do next.

A friend who mediates legal cases was regaling me with a story about a court employee who treated her with disrespect. As I listened to my friend’s description of the employee’s behavior, I felt outrage on my friend’s behalf. I heard myself say,

[…Read on…]

Using good process

In arguments, sometimes progress is a step backward

You’ve got this.

Using good process

When to confront: What’s your measuring stick?

It’s worth figuring out

Using good process

Why your staff should resolve their own conflicts

key in hand

It’s a mistake to conflate good supervision and the habit of intervening in employees’ conflicts. Not only with the habit wear you out eventually and take energy away from other important responsibilities, but you will miss prime opportunities to help your staff cultivate their own good skills.

At one of my recent workshops, a participant shared this great case in point:

[…Read on…]

Using good process

Building bridges during negotiation, John Adams style

It’s early July of 1776 and the Continental Congress is meeting in Philadelphia. At stake: Will the colonies join in a declaration of independence from Great Britain? A pivotal figure in the debate is John Dickinson, Quaker member of the Pennsylvania delegation. He has spoken passionately of his desire to avoid the catastrophic bloodshed he […]

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