Sit up straight and pay attention. You’re missing something.
Examining mental models
Mental models are the explanations and pictures we construct in our heads to make sense of the world. The parable of the blind men and the elephant illustrates how our mental models influence our conclusions -- the man touching the tail thinks an elephant is like a rope, while the man touching the tusk believes an elephant is more like a spear, and the man touching the trunk concludes an elephant is like a snake. We disagree better when we can detect our blind spots, examine our assumptions, and interpret our experience through multiple lenses.
Disagree better: The truth
April 17, 2022
Making the impossible possible
It’s wild how well these kinds of questions work.
Conflict resolution is like driving at night in the fog
You only need to see two or three feet in front of you.
An alternative to perspective-taking when you want to reduce animosity
Try counterfactual thinking instead.
What is the real issue?
Real is a rabbit in a bramble patch.
How to be truly helpful when someone is upset
Dismissive positivity and buried empathy begone.
On the importance of knowing what really matters
And how to avoid potholes, too
3 reasons they won’t change their behavior–and what to do about it
Changing our minds is exhausting.
Upstream conflict resolution
Get ahead of acute or chronic conflict.
Every conflict contains a bid to be seen
I matter.
Avoid this common blunder when confronting difficult behavior
Welcome to Do-Land.
Blame vs contribution (and how to make the shift adroitly)
Intention matters.
A lesson in compassion and understanding from a most annoying woman
Thank you, Universe.
Flip the problem to illuminate hidden solutions
Prevent your natural negativity bias from hijacking your smarts.
Doubt your conflict story
It’ll steer you wrong.
A visualization for letting go of things you can’t change
Find a quiet spot for two minutes.
This common (but faulty) reasoning leads to bad decisions
Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
The Picasso trick for better problem solving
Love is blind.
A good way to overcome resistance
Stop trying to persuade them out of their resistance.