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Tammy Lenski

Disagree better | Tammy Lenski

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Examining mental models

Mental models are the explanations and pictures we naturally construct in our heads to make sense of the world and our experiences. Our mental models heavily influence our conflict stories. We disagree better when we understand the ways this "invisible architecture" of the mind can help or hinder us.

Examining mental models

Who are you to be? One powerful way to change conflict habits

Habits shape identity. And identity shapes habits.

Examining mental models

Generate more creative solutions with this question

Boost inspiration by changing just one word from the usual question.

Examining mental models

The triviality trap

Sit up straight and pay attention. You’re missing something.

Examining mental models

Making the impossible possible

It’s wild how well these kinds of questions work.

Examining mental models

Conflict resolution is like driving at night in the fog

You only need to see two or three feet in front of you.

Examining mental models

An alternative to perspective-taking when you want to reduce animosity

Try counterfactual thinking instead.

Examining mental models

What is the real issue?

Real is a rabbit in a bramble patch.

Examining mental models

How to be truly helpful when someone is upset

Dismissive positivity and buried empathy begone.

Examining mental models

On the importance of knowing what really matters

And how to avoid potholes, too

Examining mental models

3 reasons they won’t change their behavior–and what to do about it

Changing our minds is exhausting.

Examining mental models

Upstream conflict resolution

Get ahead of acute or chronic conflict.

Examining mental models

Every conflict contains a bid to be seen

I matter.

Examining mental models

Avoid this common blunder when confronting difficult behavior

Welcome to Do-Land.

Examining mental models

Blame vs contribution (and how to make the shift adroitly)

Intention matters.

Examining mental models

A lesson in compassion and understanding from a most annoying woman

Thank you, Universe.

Examining mental models

Flip the problem to illuminate hidden solutions

Prevent your natural negativity bias from hijacking your smarts.

Examining mental models

Doubt your conflict story

It’ll steer you wrong.

Examining mental models

A visualization for letting go of things you can’t change

Find a quiet spot for two minutes.

Examining mental models

This common (but faulty) reasoning leads to bad decisions

Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

Examining mental models

The Picasso trick for better problem solving

Love is blind.

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