Well, that’s the first time I’ve been called a lemming.
The best conflict resolution and communication skills in the world are little use if we can’t access them when we need them most. To disagree better we need the ability to think clearly, respond nimbly, and maintain our composure in the face of difficult and stressful interactions. Here are ways to build our self-mastery.
Self-coaching questions for conflict resolution.
Never has a rubber duck been more helpful.
Don’t suppress or stifle — shift.
Go ahead, cozy on up to it.
Have better disagreements in your personal and professional relationships.
We’ll call this the George Takei method.
For once, labels are a good thing.
Use a centering question to get your balance back.
I blew my top and my friend surprised me.
Just because they happen to be the one standing in front of you…
Access your good skills when you need them most.
What a good use of 10 minutes.
Just a trip down memory lane.
Anger is a signal, not a defect.
I’ve written that anger is a messenger that won’t shut up until its message is heard and understood. But if the anger is so big or so loud you can’t hear straight, there are things you can do to help someone calm down. And a few things you shouldn’t do…like these five missteps. I’ve written […]
Conflict can rob you of two precious mental faculties useful for sorting things out: The ability to view the situation from the other person’s perspective and the ability to check your impulses. New research suggests that your future self can help you recapture those abilities. Confrontations and conflict require self-control to resist the tempting words […]
During conflict, focusing mostly on anger’s behavior instead of on anger’s real message is like burying the lede in a news story. It was the first day of high school journalism class for American journalist and filmmaker Nora Ephron. The subject of the day was how to write a lede. He began with a set […]
A traditional Zen koan, or story.
When you’re stuck on a problem or feeling angry, briefly distancing yourself psychologically from the current circumstances can give you emotional relief and actually help you solve the problem. Here are four simple and potent ways to gain psychological distance (and help others do the same) when you’re spinning your wheels in a conflict conversation.