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Tammy Lenski

Conflict resolution for business, team, and personal relationships

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Good problem-solving process

The way we structure and orchestrate a problem-solving conversation influences not only how the conversation unfolds, but also the solutions that become visible and the quality of participation.

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When opinions contrast sharply, practice scales

24 November 2020 by Tammy Lenski

There’s a whole lotta gray between the black and the white.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

5 ways to deal proactively with conflict while working from home during the coronavirus outbreak

19 March 2020 by Tammy Lenski

We belong to each other. – Mother Teresa

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Upstream conflict resolution

17 February 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Get ahead of acute or chronic conflict.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between Tagged With: Featured

How to disagree better

19 November 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Have better disagreements in your personal and professional relationships.

Filed Under: Effective communication, Good problem-solving process, Mental models in problem solving, Self-mastery, The space between

Choosing the right conflict resolution tools

2 October 2019 by Tammy Lenski

3 questions for choosing the right tool at the right time.

Filed Under: Conflict resolution skills and strategies, Good problem-solving process, The space between Tagged With: Featured

Start with a small yes

10 May 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Use the psychology of agreement to start your conversation right.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Slow down and be the Bedouin

23 April 2019 by Tammy Lenski

It’s all about frame of reference.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between Tagged With: conflict-resolution-stories

Do the next right thing

9 April 2019 by Tammy Lenski

The best kind of experiment.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

4 handy principles for deciding when you can’t agree

27 November 2018 by Tammy Lenski

Fallback criteria save the day. Again.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Is the Einstellung effect interfering with your problem solving?

14 November 2018 by Tammy Lenski

Another cognitive trap just waiting to spring on you.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

The type of problem that makes conflict resolution harder

2 October 2018 by Tammy Lenski

That damn gravity.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

3 ways to turn adversaries into problem-solving partners

5 September 2018 by Tammy Lenski

Stop trying to wrangle people into things. It’s way too much work.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

When it seems trivial, pay close attention

19 December 2017 by Tammy Lenski

Sit up straight. You’re missing something.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Future-proof an agreement with a premortem

24 October 2017 by Tammy Lenski

No DeLorean needed.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

When negotiations get stuck, be sure you do this

25 July 2017 by Tammy Lenski

It’s not news that understanding the other person’s key interests is a crucial skill for your negotiation skills toolbox. I knew that when I went into the contract negotiation in the following story…and I almost blew it anyway. It took a question born out of desperation to teach me that some interests can be elusive, […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

When the win-win solution is obscure

18 April 2017 by Tammy Lenski

Learn from my pathetic post-grad school salary negotiation.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Sweeping conflict under the rug

21 March 2017 by Tammy Lenski

What is that bump under the rug?

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

2 smart principles for resolving everyday disagreements

24 January 2017 by Tammy Lenski

Not all disagreements require long talks to resolve them sufficiently. Sometimes you can use a pre-agreed principle to get them done and get on with your day. Here are two worth considering for your workplace team or family.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Think with your hands for better problem solving

17 January 2017 by Tammy Lenski

New research is challenging the notion that thinking, problem solving, and decision making take place strictly in the head. And finally giving me some credibility after years of placing interactive toys in the middle of my mediation table. How do you put 17 animals in four pens in such a way that there is an […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Friction with a colleague? Ask for a favor

4 October 2016 by Tammy Lenski

When friction enters a working relationship, sometimes the best path through isn’t to dissect it and talk about it. Sometimes the best path through is an indirect one — ask for a favor from them. Just like Ben Franklin suggested.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

How starting a difficult conversation is like opening Fibber McGee’s closet

26 July 2016 by Tammy Lenski

Starting a difficult conversation (or negotiation or mediation) can feel like opening Fibber McGee’s closet — chaotic, overwhelming, and hope-sucking. But don’t run. A colleague shared the closet metaphor with me years ago and I’ve passed it along to countless others since. The messy, over-filled hall closet was a running gag on the 1930s-1950s radio […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Making peace with the conflict groan zone

3 May 2016 by Tammy Lenski

“Get me outta here!” That’s the thought a lot of people have during workplace conflict. It’s the thought you have if you’re uncomfortable with conflict: I don’t like this. It’s messy. Maybe even painful. Get me outta here! It’s the thought you have if you’re too comfortable with conflict: This is going nowhere good. I’m […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Before you start solving a problem, be sure you do this

1 March 2016 by Tammy Lenski

Design thinking is helping designers, engineers, and entrepreneurs solve problems more successfully and develop better products. Here’s how conflict resolvers can use one of design thinking’s most powerful steps to achieve better outcomes.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

6 contradictory ways to spark creative problem solving

26 December 2015 by Tammy Lenski

If you’re trying to solve a tough problem, is it better to push on through or take a brain break? Is it better to be out in nature or will the sidewalk do? Is it better to build on an offered idea or disagree and criticize it? Yes.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

The 9-dot puzzle (redux)

29 September 2015 by Tammy Lenski

The 9-dot puzzle has been around for a while now, so maybe you’ve seen it. It’s a permanent resident of my conflict resolution activities toolbox. Here’s what it is and how I use it in conflict resolution to help clients problem-solve more creatively (as well as a Part 2 of the exercise that may be […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process Tagged With: Instagram

A liberating new approach to making hard choices

24 July 2015 by Tammy Lenski

One of the hardest tasks I face as a mediator and coach is helping people make big, difficult choices for themselves. Here’s how I use a refreshing and liberating new framework to help my clients decide between options when there is no clear frontrunner.

[…Read on…]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

Walk it out to work it out

4 June 2015 by Tammy Lenski

If you want to boost creative problem solving or get a fresh perspective, then get up from your conference room table and climb out of those comfy living room chairs. Walking is better.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

How to be a problem-solving superhero without fixing it yourself

1 April 2015 by Tammy Lenski

It can feel very gratifying to sort out a sticky problems for other people. But the fixer habit can backfire, leaving you burned out and them not used to handling problems themselves. Years ago, a student came to my office with a problem. I was a dean at the time and I had many appointments […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

The uncommon art of masterful problem framing

30 October 2014 by Tammy Lenski

Uncommon but also learnable.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

I’m getting blamed for everything

23 October 2014 by Tammy Lenski

A lesson from theatrical improv can teach us a powerful way to respond effectively to blame. “I’m getting blamed for everything,” she said. “Every time I talk to my husband about our problems, he blames me.” She wanted to know, understandably, how to stop the cycle and the blameshifting. Mediators ask me how to manage […]

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

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