There’s a space that changes form and scale as we navigate our personal and business relationships. It’s the space between us, narrowing and softening when things are going well, widening and hardening in times of tension. The quality of our relationships, the degree of our happiness, and the success of our solutions are all influenced by The Space Between.
Conflict resolution skills and strategies
The articles in this section discuss general conflict resolution skills and strategies for executives, HR professionals, mediators, and coaches. They also include occasional announcements about my upcoming public workshops and online conflict resolution courses. For additional insights, skills and strategies, visit the article archives for effective communication, mental models, self-mastery, and good problem-solving process.
The reads that most influenced me this year
I read voraciously, a pile of books and articles monthly. Many are interesting and informative, but a few stand out because they influenced my thinking or behavior in a significant way. As I join others in looking back at 2016, here are the standouts that stuck with me and that I’ve most frequently mentioned to others.
Conflict resolution terms defined
A dispute is not the same as a conflict. Mediation is different from facilitation. I’ve had repeated requests for the language I use to describe and define common conflict resolution terms like these, so here’s the language I use and a PDF download suitable for printing.
Learning from Maori tradition: Whakawhanaungatanga
Whakawhanaungatanga is a Māori process for establishing relationships and connection. I explore whakawhanaungatanga with New Zealanders Hilary Unwin and Pereri Hathaway in this audio interview.
A loving letter to my mediation clients
My friend,
There are some things I want to say about mediation with me, things I hope you’ll ponder before we gather, things I hope will guide you as we talk. I may mention them a time or two during our time together.
When tension continues after conflict seems resolved
Even after a dispute is resolved, conflict and tension can linger. Here’s how to find out what is stopping someone from letting go and moving on after conflict.
I shall try to do better
What makes negative feedback palatable and what makes it harder to digest? In my public life as a mediator, author, speaker and blogger, it comes down to this: The kindness of the delivery.
One powerful way to help ease the suffering in conflict
Conflict and suffering are confederates working in painful alliance, each feeding the other as if to ensure its own continued existence. If I turn away from the suffering in conflict, I deny a part of my clients’ experience. If I try to fix suffering, I assume a task that is not really mine to shoulder. […]
