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Tammy Lenski

Conflict resolution for business, team, and personal relationships

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The space between

The Space Between podcast cover

The space between” is the figurative terrain between them and us, between where we are and where we want to be, and between who we are and who we want to be when we’re in a difficult conversation.

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Introducing QueryCards

15 January 2021 by Tammy Lenski

Self-coaching questions for conflict resolution.

Filed Under: Self-mastery, The space between Tagged With: Featured

When opinions contrast sharply, practice scales

24 November 2020 by Tammy Lenski

There’s a whole lotta gray between the black and the white.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Three alternatives to rumination after an argument

6 October 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Never has a rubber duck been more helpful.

Filed Under: Self-mastery, The space between

How to be truly helpful when someone is upset

10 September 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Dismissive positivity and buried empathy begone.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between Tagged With: Instagram

On the importance of knowing what really matters

13 August 2020 by Tammy Lenski

And how to avoid potholes, too

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between Tagged With: conflict-resolution-stories

Behind every criticism is a wish

28 July 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Or, how to be a criticism translator

Filed Under: Effective communication, The space between Tagged With: Instagram

Break down listening barriers with these 4 questions

26 June 2020 by Tammy Lenski

The rockstar duo: Good listening and good questions.

Filed Under: Effective communication, The space between

An uncomplicated way to reduce the pitfalls of emotional memories during conflict resolution

2 June 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Don’t suppress or stifle — shift.

Filed Under: Self-mastery, The space between

Five uncomplicated ways couples can turn arguments into discussions

13 May 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Like having a mediator in the living room with you.

Filed Under: Effective communication, The space between Tagged With: Instagram

3 reasons they won’t change their behavior–and what to do about it

21 April 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Changing our minds is exhausting.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between

5 ways to deal proactively with conflict while working from home during the coronavirus outbreak

19 March 2020 by Tammy Lenski

We belong to each other. – Mother Teresa

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Upstream conflict resolution

17 February 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Get ahead of acute or chronic conflict.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between Tagged With: Featured

How to stop ruminating at night (other times too)

29 January 2020 by Tammy Lenski

Go ahead, cozy on up to it.

Filed Under: Self-mastery, The space between

Spark a shift in perspective with this question

19 December 2019 by Tammy Lenski

A good one for your favorite questions list.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between Tagged With: Instagram

How to disagree better

19 November 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Have better disagreements in your personal and professional relationships.

Filed Under: Effective communication, Good problem-solving process, Mental models in problem solving, Self-mastery, The space between

Choosing the right conflict resolution tools

2 October 2019 by Tammy Lenski

3 questions for choosing the right tool at the right time.

Filed Under: Conflict resolution skills and strategies, Good problem-solving process, The space between Tagged With: Featured

Every conflict contains a bid to be seen

3 September 2019 by Tammy Lenski

I matter.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between

How to influence the way people act during conflict

23 July 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Beliefs can and do create social reality.

Filed Under: Effective communication, The space between

A way to turn anger into curiosity

4 June 2019 by Tammy Lenski

We’ll call this the George Takei method.

Filed Under: Self-mastery, The space between

Start with a small yes

10 May 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Use the psychology of agreement to start your conversation right.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Slow down and be the Bedouin

23 April 2019 by Tammy Lenski

It’s all about frame of reference.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between Tagged With: conflict-resolution-stories

Do the next right thing

9 April 2019 by Tammy Lenski

The best kind of experiment.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

How to politely stop long-winded talkers

26 March 2019 by Tammy Lenski

“At what point do I get to be the one to talk?”

Filed Under: Effective communication, The space between

Avoid this common blunder when confronting difficult behavior

13 March 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Welcome to Do-Land.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between

Control emotions better by labeling them

26 February 2019 by Tammy Lenski

For once, labels are a good thing.

Filed Under: Self-mastery, The space between

Blame vs contribution (and how to make the shift adroitly)

13 February 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Intention matters.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between

A lesson in compassion and understanding from a most annoying woman

29 January 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Thank you, Universe.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between

Flip the problem to illuminate hidden solutions

16 January 2019 by Tammy Lenski

Prevent your natural negativity bias from hijacking your smarts.

Filed Under: Mental models in problem solving, The space between

4 handy principles for deciding when you can’t agree

27 November 2018 by Tammy Lenski

Fallback criteria save the day. Again.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

Is the Einstellung effect interfering with your problem solving?

14 November 2018 by Tammy Lenski

Another cognitive trap just waiting to spring on you.

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process, The space between

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Click to see the next question. Questions load randomly. Some have links for a deeper dive.

What's the most important thing?
How has this affected me?
What is the wish behind the criticism?
A week from now, will this have mattered?
What is the problem WE are trying to solve here?
Am I being seen? Am I seeing?
What would love do now?
What else could this be?
What is the next right thing?
What's holding my attention?
It's real but is it true?
Why am I this angry?
Who do I want to be?

QueryCards ©2021 Myiaccord LLC. All rights reserved.

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7 ways to disagree better today

Seven proven practices you can use immediately. One a day for a week + monthly road-tested conflict resolution tools delivered to your inbox. No spam, unsubscribe anytime.

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