What’s the best way to re-establish communication with someone after a falling out? Here’s how to write an email that will help you reconnect after no contact and set the stage for talking in person or by phone. A reader wrote me with the question, What is the best way to email someone after a […]
Fine-tuning communication skills and habits
Failing to ask effectively for what we want is the stuff of low-grade irritation that, over time, can become a source of chronic tension. Here’s a ridiculously simple way to ask more effectively, be more persuasive without manipulating, and increase the odds a small favor will be granted.
Whether we’re participants in a conflict conversation or mediating it, creating space for a question to be contemplated before answering is a powerful gift. When we fill the space out of our own discomfort with the silence, we inadvertently smother the possibility of a deeper answer. It was freshman orientation at Amherst College in Massachusetts […]
Here are three things your good mediator probably won’t tell you (and why you should hire them anyway). 1. I’m not necessarily good at handling conflict in my own life I used to think it was just me, that I was the only mediator in the world who occasionally totally sucked at conflict in my […]
When you want an idea to be considered on its merits, it can be very hard to overcome two aspects of human nature that get in the way. If you want to reduce resistance and create space for the idea to get thoughtful consideration, how you frame your proposal can make all the difference.
When we’re stuck in conflict, sometimes it’s the questions we’re asking ourselves or our sparring partner. To ask better questions in conflict, try this surprisingly useful trick.
When you say you’re listening, which type of listening are you really practicing? Of the five types, there’s only one that’s the kind of deep listening that helps you resolve conflict better, be more persuasive, and strengthen the personal or business relationship.
Who is going to change the dance steps?
Ting is the Chinese character for “to listen.” It reminds us of some of the most important components of good listening. Here’s a PDF download of the character.
How we frame matters. How we frame our offer, our doubt, our idea, our concern can make the difference between being heard and being ignored, between interest and aversion, between succeeding and stumbling.