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Tammy Lenski

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Fine-tuning communication skills and habits

Word choice, good questions, and good listening skills and habits contribute to effective communication. We disagree better when we align our verbal and nonverbal communication with intentions and attitudes that foster connection and build rapport.

Fine-tuning communication

How to confront someone without seeming confrontational

Just a little wondering out loud.

Fine-tuning communication

Three essential components of highly effective listening

Pay attention to all three to make the most of this conflict resolution superpower.

Fine-tuning communication

Be a better listener with this one crucial habit

Support, don’t shift, even when you disagree.

Fine-tuning communication

Ghost rules

Come out of hiding, you pesky things.

Fine-tuning communication

To reduce defensiveness, build up the social bond

Don’t like their defensiveness dance? Change **your** dance steps.

Fine-tuning communication

Behind every criticism is a wish

Or, how to be a criticism translator

Fine-tuning communication

Break down listening barriers with these 4 questions

The rockstar duo: Good listening and good questions.

Fine-tuning communication

Five uncomplicated ways couples can turn arguments into discussions

Like having a mediator in the living room with you.

Fine-tuning communication

Spark a shift in perspective with this question

A good one for your favorite questions list.

Fine-tuning communication

How to influence the way people act during conflict

Beliefs can and do create social reality.

Fine-tuning communication

How to politely stop long-winded talkers

“At what point do I get to be the one to talk?”

Fine-tuning communication

5 bad listening habits and how to break them

Listening is not just waiting to talk

Fine-tuning communication

How to express a concern without making things worse

A soft start is just the ticket.

Fine-tuning communication

5 impactful questions for handling difficult moments

Don’t go it alone. Take these questions with you.

Fine-tuning communication

Is the overconfidence effect sabotaging your communication?

The signal sent may not be the signal received.

Fine-tuning communication

How to backpedal after saying the wrong thing

When your mouth gets ahead of good judgment.

Fine-tuning communication

The communication method that makes disagreements worse

Move away from that keyboard.

Fine-tuning communication

The question that brings hamster wheel debates to a standstill

Some debates, arguments, and bickering go on and on, without leading anywhere (except to more frustration). If you find yourself in this kind of debate, or are trying to stop others caught in one, here’s a single question that’s almost magical in its power to help.

Fine-tuning communication

Why you should make a habit of repeating this question

Our solutions are only as good as our understanding of the problem. There’s a good question we can use to help discover a problem’s roots. And we can turn it into an even better question by employing it liberally — more liberally than most of us naturally do. Legendary Toyota executive Taiichi Ohno wanted employees […]

Fine-tuning communication

Fear is the enemy of apology

One reason apologies feel hard to offer is that they’re colored by fear — fear of feeling shame, fear of feeling judged, fear of offering an olive branch that is not returned. To apologize, we must find ways to anticipate not only what will go wrong, but what also what could go right.

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