Support, don’t shift, even when you disagree.
Fine-tuning communication skills and habits
Find the right words and listen well during disagreements.
Ghost rules
Come out of hiding, you pesky things.
To reduce defensiveness, build up the social bond
Don’t like their defensiveness dance? Change **your** dance steps.
Behind every criticism is a wish
Or, how to be a criticism translator
Break down listening barriers with these 4 questions
The rockstar duo: Good listening and good questions.
Five uncomplicated ways couples can turn arguments into discussions
Like having a mediator in the living room with you.
How to influence the way people act during conflict
Beliefs can and do create social reality.
How to politely stop long-winded talkers
“At what point do I get to be the one to talk?”
5 bad listening habits and how to break them
Listening is not just waiting to talk
How to express a concern without making things worse
A soft start is just the ticket.
5 impactful questions for handling difficult moments
Don’t go it alone. Take these questions with you.
Is the overconfidence effect sabotaging your communication?
The signal sent may not be the signal received.
How to backpedal after saying the wrong thing
When your mouth gets ahead of good judgment.
The communication method that makes disagreements worse
Move away from that keyboard.
The question that brings hamster wheel debates to a standstill
Some debates, arguments, and bickering go on and on, without leading anywhere (except to more frustration). If you find yourself in this kind of debate, or are trying to stop others caught in one, here’s a single question that’s almost magical in its power to help.
Why you should make a habit of repeating this question
Our solutions are only as good as our understanding of the problem. There’s a good question we can use to help discover a problem’s roots. And we can turn it into an even better question by employing it liberally — more liberally than most of us naturally do. Legendary Toyota executive Taiichi Ohno wanted employees […]
Fear is the enemy of apology
One reason apologies feel hard to offer is that they’re colored by fear — fear of feeling shame, fear of feeling judged, fear of offering an olive branch that is not returned. To apologize, we must find ways to anticipate not only what will go wrong, but what also what could go right.
A simple little technique for turning criticism into constructive feedback
Make it behavioral.
How to say no persuasively
Being able to say no is essential for good day-to-day negotiating. Yet it can evoke anxiety about appearing obstructive, unkind, or unhelpful. If you want a way to keep yourself from saying yes when you really do need to say no, pack this research-supported technique in your toolkit.
How to show you’re really listening without interrupting
Want to break the advice-giving habit but aren’t sure what to do instead? Want someone else to stop giving you unsolicited advice all the time? Here’s a good question to ask in those moments and a simple alternative to giving advice when what they really want is someone to listen. When someone tells you about […]