Support, don’t shift, even when you disagree.
Fine-tuning communication skills and habits
Find the right words and listen well during disagreements.
Come out of hiding, you pesky things.
Don’t like their defensiveness dance? Change **your** dance steps.
Or, how to be a criticism translator
The rockstar duo: Good listening and good questions.
Like having a mediator in the living room with you.
Beliefs can and do create social reality.
“At what point do I get to be the one to talk?”
Listening is not just waiting to talk
A soft start is just the ticket.
Don’t go it alone. Take these questions with you.
The signal sent may not be the signal received.
When your mouth gets ahead of good judgment.
Move away from that keyboard.
Some debates, arguments, and bickering go on and on, without leading anywhere (except to more frustration). If you find yourself in this kind of debate, or are trying to stop others caught in one, here’s a single question that’s almost magical in its power to help.
Our solutions are only as good as our understanding of the problem. There’s a good question we can use to help discover a problem’s roots. And we can turn it into an even better question by employing it liberally — more liberally than most of us naturally do. Legendary Toyota executive Taiichi Ohno wanted employees […]
One reason apologies feel hard to offer is that they’re colored by fear — fear of feeling shame, fear of feeling judged, fear of offering an olive branch that is not returned. To apologize, we must find ways to anticipate not only what will go wrong, but what also what could go right.
Make it behavioral.
Being able to say no is essential for good day-to-day negotiating. Yet it can evoke anxiety about appearing obstructive, unkind, or unhelpful. If you want a way to keep yourself from saying yes when you really do need to say no, pack this research-supported technique in your toolkit.
Want to break the advice-giving habit but aren’t sure what to do instead? Want someone else to stop giving you unsolicited advice all the time? Here’s a good question to ask in those moments and a simple alternative to giving advice when what they really want is someone to listen. When someone tells you about […]