We’ll call this the George Takei method.
Use the psychology of agreement to start your conversation right.
It’s all about frame of reference.
The best kind of experiment.
“At what point do I get to be the one to talk?”
Welcome to Do-Land.
For once, labels are a good thing.
Thank you, Universe.
Prevent your natural negativity bias from hijacking your smarts.
Fallback criteria save the day. Again.
Another cognitive trap just waiting to spring on you.
Listening is not just waiting to talk.
It’ll steer you wrong.
That damn gravity.
Find a quiet spot for two minutes.
Stop trying to wrangle people into things. It’s way too much work.
A soft start is just the ticket.
Use a centering question to get your balance back.
I blew my top and my friend surprised me.
Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
Don’t go it alone. Take these questions with you.
The signal sent may not be the signal received.
Less is more.
When your mouth gets ahead of good judgment.
Psst: It’s not about “resolution.”
Move away from that keyboard.
It’s hard to get fresh perspective about our situation or the other person when we’re trapped inside a conflict. This simple question is excellent for tempering our certainty, engaging our curiosity, and sparking a shift in perspective when we need it most.
Love is blind.
Sit up straight. You’re missing something.
Access your good skills when you need them most.
Some debates, arguments, and bickering go on and on, without leading anywhere (except to more frustration). If you find yourself in this kind of debate, or are trying to stop others caught in one, here’s a single question that’s almost magical in its power to help.
No DeLorean needed.
What a good use of 10 minutes.
There’s a space that changes form and scale as we navigate our personal and business relationships. It’s the space between us, narrowing and softening when things are going well, widening and hardening in times of tension. The quality of our relationships, the degree of our happiness, and the success of our solutions are all influenced by The Space Between.
Stop trying to persuade them out of their resistance.
One reason apologies feel hard to offer is that they’re colored by fear — fear of feeling shame, fear of feeling judged, fear of offering an olive branch that is not returned. To apologize, we must find ways to anticipate not only what will go wrong, but what also what could go right.
What would Bart Millar do?
There seem to be two routes to empathy. One will tax you more.
Skills alone will only get you so far.
Just a trip down memory lane.
SO much better than well-meaning reassurance.
Learn from my pathetic post-grad school salary negotiation.