• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Tammy Lenski

Conflict resolution for business, team, and personal relationships

  • Hello
  • Books
  • Courses
  • Archives
  • Subscribe
  • Contact

A better way to fix problems at work

16 May 2012 by Tammy Lenski

lightbulb
If you are a manager or leader, you will be pressed to fix problems by suggesting or implementing solutions of your own. So work is fertile ground for you to learn how to resist the temptation some of the time.

Practice helping them fix problems themselves. You’ll get credit for helping them develop and mature as employees. You’ll stop being overwhelmed by the constant stream of help everyone needs and find more career-advancing ways to spend your day. And you’ll be taller.

I learned how to do this after taking my first mediation course years ago while a college dean. I tried it out the very next day I was in the office.

A student came in and sat down across the table from me. She described a problem with a professor and she spared no details. With each detail unearthed, I could see the problem inching its way toward me across the round table. On she went, and closer crept the problem until it was right in front of me, hovering on my side of table, threatening to tumble over the edge into my lap.

I put my hands out to stop it. I covered it with my hands and said, “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to take this problem you’ve just nudged over to me and I’m going to slide it on back across the table to you.” My hands moved across the table, then gave a final little shove of the problem toward her.

She started down at the table, frowning. “What do you want me to do with it?” I could tell she didn’t like the problem’s close proximity.

“I’m going to help you figure out how to fix it. I’ll work with you as long as you need, but I’m not going to fix it for you.”

When I’d headed to work that day, I was only 5’1”. When I left, I’d returned to the 5’9” of my early adult years. Fixing other people’s problems for them, it turns out, is a lot of weight to carry around.

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Good problem-solving process

Footer

Disagree better

Get The Disagree Better Guide + free road-tested conflict resolution tools delivered to your inbox monthly

Uncopyright   ·   Site policies   ·   Search

Forgive the intrusion...
We use cookies to improve your browsing experience.
We like to eat them, too. Read the policy here.
I ACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Click to see the next question. Questions load randomly. Some have links for a deeper dive.

What is the next right thing?
What is the problem WE are trying to solve here?
What is the wish behind the criticism?
What else could this be?
It's real but is it true?
What's the most important thing?
A week from now, will this have mattered?
What would love do now?
How has this affected me?
What's holding my attention?
Am I being seen? Am I seeing?
Who do I want to be?
Why am I this angry?

QueryCards ©2021 Myiaccord LLC. All rights reserved.

image of the email series

7 ways to disagree better today

Seven proven practices you can use immediately. One a day for a week + monthly road-tested conflict resolution tools delivered to your inbox. No spam, unsubscribe anytime.

This companion download for the book is free — along with a free subscription to my monthly conflict resolution tools — when you register. Register just once to get full access to all downloads in my Resource Library:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.