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Tammy Lenski

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Fine-tuning communication

The 7 hallmarks of genuine dialogue

A reader has asked me what makes dialogue “genuine,” a question prompted by my use of the phrase, “Jump-start genuine dialogue.”

When I’m coaching a workplace team or a couple in the creation of genuine dialogue around change, conflict or key decisions to be made, I use these criteria for assessing the quality of dialogue:

  1. The outcome is not known in advance (pre-conceived outcomes are discouraged).
  2. You want to understand as much as you want to tell.
  3. You’re lead by your curiosity, not your certainty.
  4. You’re not avoiding differences or disagreement.
  5. All voices are equally valued.
  6. Compassion and empathy are welcomed alongside the valuing of objectivity.
  7. Assumptions are surfaced and examined non-judgmentally.

How do you know when you’re in genuine dialogue at work or home? What criteria or hallmarks would you add?

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